I just heard Rihanna’s interview with Diane Sawyer.  I wish every teenage girl and boy, every mother and father could hear this and listen to some key messages  from Rihanna, a young woman who is now able to see and tell the truth about abuse.

“Don’t’ react out of love; love is so blind”  . Rihanna is so right; we have all heard thousands of love songs with the common theme that love is blind.  It sounds romantic, but the reality is that the message encourages us to live in illusion and ignore common sense.. This is especially true for teen girls who are seduced by  rock, rap and romance music. 

“Denial is when you start lying to yourself the minute the physical wounds start to heal.” Again Rihanna is pointing out an important truth.  Denial is the way we all avoid facing tough realities. It is both a subconscious and conscious way of hiding from pain.It keeps us locked in a bad situation that will only get worse.

The only way out of denial is to have people who care about you and help you face reality. But,most women and girls who are victims of abuse are like Rihanna. They blame themselves and tell no one. Rihanna didn’t want to talk to anyone after the abuse because she said she felt ‘so ashamed” that she chose someone like that.

We hope girls and boys, moms and dads, will listen to Rihanna’s story. Tell a friend or parent if you have been hurt by a boyfriend or if you are afraid. And parents ,don’t let your kids disappear into the illusion of love. Call our hotline – 949 8543554 or  a counselor who knows about date abuse if you are worried. Don’t go into denial.

And, boys, remember Rihanna’s words  “The thing that men don’t realize when they hit a woman is the scar inside – you remember it all the time.”