It was a classroom at the juvenile detention facility.  There were 14 boys ages 13-17.  Robert, our community educator, was there to talk to them about teen dating violence.  As he talked, the room grew very quiet.  Robert talked about the warning signs, power and control, and how frightening some expressions of anger can be.  He talked about how we learn by watching our parents and the adults around us.  

After he finished speaking, he had seven boys waiting to talk to him.  One after another the students came up to Robert and expressed their own fears about their anger and how they treat their girlfriends.  One boy hung back and was the last one to talk to Robert.  His hands hung at his side and he said “Why did you say it was wrong to hit things if you are angry?  Isn’t it better than hitting a person?”  Robert said,” If you are hitting the walls now, it is likely that you will eventually hit a person.”  After they finished talking, the young man held out his hand to shake Robert’s hand.  As Robert took the boy’s hand he saw the black and blue marks where the boy had in anger plummeted anything he could reach.  Robert held his hand and the boy broke down and said to Robert, “I am so angry and I don’t know what else to do with my anger, I need help”.