February is the month of love. Flowers, chocolates, love letters, and stores are filled to the brim with all things red and pink. Sometimes, “love” does not only mean red and pink, but also black and blue. Even more unfortunate, is the young age that these unhealthy relationships and patterns can begin. Domestic violence is becoming an increasingly common issue for adolescents, with 1/3 of U.S. girls reported victims of some form of dating abuse.

Because of this shocking statistic and others like it, February is not only the month of love, but also the month of Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention. February is a time to educate youth about dating violence- how to spot it, and stop it.

Break the Cycle (breakthecycle.org) is an organization committed to empowering youth to end the cycle of domestic violence. In 2010, Break the Cycle compiled a report of how each of the 50 United States and Washington DC’s Teen Dating Violence Laws measure up against each other. Kudos to California for being one of 7 states that was awarded a grade A! California earned that score for the rights and services it provides teen victims of dating abuse.

In California, minors (ages 12 and up) are able to obtain restraining orders (ROs) without assistance from a parent or guardian. CA also grants ROs in dating relationships, and does not just limit them to marriage (as they are limited in 8 other states). California minors also have access to many sexual health services, which are limited in other areas of the country.

In addition to these legal resources in California, there are many other resources available to teen victims of domestic violence. Contact Human Options for an educational domestic violence presentation at your local school, or contact Love is Respect – text loveis to 77054 to reach an advocate or visit their website (loveisrespect.org) to chat online. Please join Human Options in spreading the word about Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month.

To find more detailed information on the report cards and the legal opportunities, see this website- 2010 State Law Report Cards

An unhealthy relationship is made up of warning signs or unhealthy behaviors that occur over and over again. If you are experiencing these warning signs, maybe it’s time to leave:
Does your BF/GF ever go through your phone to see who you’ve been calling or texting?
Does your BF/GF demand your Facebook or social media passwords to check posts and messages?
Does your BF/GF call you names or make fun of you?
Do your close friends tell you that they do not like your BF/GF?
Does your BF/GF ever hit, push or slap you, even in a “joking” manner?
Does your BF/GF put down your music, clothes or things that you like?
Does your BF/GF have an uncontrollable temper?
Does your BF/GF use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for their behavior?
Does your BF/GF threaten to kill themselves if you ever break up with them?
Does your BF/GF blame you for their anger without giving you reasons?
Are you scared to be honest with your BF/GF?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, and it’s happening again and again, it may be time to leave this relationship. For more information please call Human Options Toll-free Hotline: 877-854-3594

This is what a healthy relationship can look like.

From Lauren Luke’s blog at refuge.org ( http://www.refuge.org.uk/lauren )

Thousands of women experience domestic violence in this country every day. Yet many women are too frightened to speak out,  instead they try to cover up the abuse. At Refuge we want women to break the silence, to realize they are not alone and to reach out and get help and support.

Hiding the physical effects of domestic violence is just one of the ways a woman might try to cover up what her partner has done to her. She may also withdraw from seeing her family and friends and become isolated, afraid to tell anyone what she’s going through. The emotional and psychological effects of domestic violence are undetectable to the naked eye, but this type of abuse is equally, if not more, damaging. Lauren’s cuts, bruises and fear are fictitious. But for thousands of women this is the reality of their everyday lives.

Domestic violence is a hidden crime. Help bring the issue out of the shadows. By sharing this film and taking action you can make a positive difference to the future of women and children who experience domestic violence. Thank you.