The Grammys, Chris Brown, and Rihanna!
Contributed by guest blogger, Robert Diaz, Community Educator
On Valentine’s Day I had the privilege of speaking at a school in Orange County about Teen Dating Abuse. There is a part of my presentation where I talk about how prevalent intimate partner abuse is in the media and in our celebrity culture. I always ask the students to name any famous celebrities who have been involved in intimate partner abuse. For the past three years, Chris Brown and Rihanna have been the first answer given by 99 percent of the students. Whether he likes it or not Chris Brown is this generation’s poster boy for an abuser. As I write this, new reports allege that the couple may even be back together. We should not be surprised by this. On average victims of domestic violence will leave an abusive relationship seven times and go back again before they finally leave for good.
However what was most disturbing about my presentation on Valentine’s Day was that at this particular school, when I asked that question a young man shouted out, “She must have liked the abuse; she’s back together with him.” The assumption that because she may be back together with him means she liked the abuse is absurd but that is what many young people are taking away from recent events.
Back in 2009 right after the pictures of Rihanna with cuts and bruises were leaked, many students, both male and female, would try to defend Chris Brown. Comments like, “well she was cheating on him so she got what she deserved,” or, “I heard that Rihanna started it,” were commonplace. I had hoped that this incident would cause a larger public debate on the topic of teens and abusive relationships, or that we would at least see an increase in education and prevention efforts, but it seems like the opposite happened.
This is why community education is necessary. Working with school districts, in particular school resource officers, is vital. Human Options’ Community Education department has been on the forefront of this issue but, as you can see, it is still an uphill battle.
So before we judge, before we chastise, before we get angry, as an educator, my job is to make sure that we balance what the media says and portrays with education so that we can have a fair and balanced discussion with our youth about healthy and unhealthy relationships.
, I also think that the move on Rihanna’s part has to do with the understanding of her lmvoivnent in the incident. Face reality, Chris didn’t just go HAM on her because he likes beating up people. What was her role in the incident? Did she provoke him? Too much in our society are women allowed to belittle men and remove any ounce of pride and respect men have for themselves, because society favor’s women over men. I’ve watched some pretty interesting videos where women are just beating the shit out of a man, and the man finally turns around an punches the chick in the face.While it’s a no-brainer that traditional women (and I say that because we have non-traditional women in our soceity, and you know who i’m talking about) are no physical competition for a traditional man, there is a little thing called common ground , where if you step into a debate with another, you better be willing to accept all blows.Now, am I saying she did anything TO provoke him? NO, but what I am saying is, WE don’t know what her role in the incident was, so judging chris brown is ridiculous and selfish of society.I mean, really, all EVERYONE knows from the story is Chris beat her up Even if she was questioned by authorities, it wouldn’t matter because that information wouldn’t have leaked to us.I’m sure Rihanna is a nice girl, but like most women, there is always a level of insecurity. She found a text she didn’t like from him, and the rest is history So, from my perspective, it seems like she may finally be owning up to HER responsibility in the incident and saying it’s not right to allow him to suffer for something WE were BOTH involved in .Mature shit
02.10.11 at 11:03 pmnorth nrothi think the reason why people are still upset @ chris brown is because he got off easy. mike vick was fired, lost 100 million dollars, went to jail for multiple years, fox news is calling for his death, he became a bench rider his first year back & had to claw his way back to the top etc and all that for hurting some dogs. its a story of redemption. chris brown beat up a girl to the point that her face looks like raw hamburger meat and his punishment is some lawyer fees, picking up trash on the highway and fake crying at award shows. i know people that got busted for pot that were punished worse. people were just as mad at kanye for interrupting taylor swift & lebron 4 leaving the cavs, niether or which were as bad as what CB did.