Human Option’s community educator asked the class to describe a healthy dating relationship. A girl in the second row raised her hand, “My Boyfriend lets me be me. He likes my friends. He gives me space when I want it. He doesn’t put me down. He likes me”.
But some girls have a different story to tell….. .
Her name was Molly. She was 18 years old. She was a pretty girl, soft spoken. She had come to my office that day to tell me her story. And even though what had happened to her had ended a year earlier, she had to stop now and then and cry. She would compose herself and then continue on with her story.
Molly’s story began when she was 15 years old. She lived with her mom and dad in a gated community in South Orange County. She had a lot of friends and they did things together. Some of her friends were not as available as they once were; they had boyfriends that they did things with on the weekends. Molly wished that she had a boyfriend.
One afternoon, the brother of one of her friends called her, told her that he had just broken up with his girlfriend and wanted to know if Molly would go out with him that weekend. Soon Molly and Erik were a couple. They went everywhere together. He called her, he texted her, he asked for her Facebook password and would go on and post things about the two of them and unfriend people he did not want her talking to. Before she knew it, Molly did not have a lot of time to spend with friends and her grades were going down because she spent half the night talking to Erik on her phone.
Molly’s story continued on and became a sad story about a boy who wanted to control her every move and became jealous of anyone else who was in her life. He became critical and verbally abusive. And eventually Erik became physically abusive.
The story Molly told the Human Options Community Education Director that day is happening today in over one third of all young dating relationships. It is the reason that Human Options goes into Orange County classrooms, almost daily. For some of the listeners it will be their story for others it will be educational, and a warning. For all of the students it will be the only time that someone will talk to them about this. They get very quiet and they listen carefully.
Love is not supposed to Hurt!
Love is not Supposed to Hurt is a free one hour presentation. For more information please call Human Options at 949-737-5242 x 214