By: Arezoo Roa, Sr. Prevention & Strategic Partnerships Director
She was the kind of person who lit up a room, until she didn’t. Friends noticed the change slowly. She stopped laughing at jokes, stopped showing up to brunch, and stopped answering texts. When Libby finally shared her story, it was like a dam breaking. Years of silence, fear, and shame poured out. She had been living with a partner who controlled everything, her money, her friendships, her voice. And the worst part? She thought it was her fault.
Relationship violence doesn’t always look like bruises. Sometimes it looks like someone apologizing for things they didn’t do. It looks like someone shrinking into themselves, doubting their worth, questioning their sanity. Survivors often live in a fog of manipulation and fear, where every day feels like walking on glass. And when the pain becomes too much, some begin to wonder if the only way out is to disappear.
I remember sitting with a young woman at a community event. She was quiet, but her eyes told a story. She had tried to take her life twice. Not because she wanted to die, but because she couldn’t see another way to live. Her partner had isolated her from her family, monitored her phone, and convinced her that no one would believe her. She said, “I didn’t want to die. I just wanted the pain to stop.” That sentence has stayed with me. Because it’s not just about suicide, it’s about despair. It’s about the crushing weight of abuse that makes someone feel invisible, unworthy, and alone.
سپتامبر is Suicide Prevention Month, a time to raise awareness, share resources, and remind people that help is available. But for survivors of relationship violence, suicide prevention must begin with safety. It must begin with listening, believing, and supporting those who are suffering in silence. Survivors often carry trauma that’s compounded by isolation and stigma. They may fear being judged, blamed, or dismissed. And when they do reach out, they’re sometimes met with disbelief or minimization. That kind of response can be devastating.
Research shows that survivors of relationship violence are significantly more likely to experience suicidal ideation and attempts. According to the CDC, nearly half of female victims of intimate partner violence report suicidal thoughts. For LGBTQ+ individuals, the risk is even higher due to compounded stigma and discrimination. But behind every statistic is a story of a person who deserved safety, dignity, and support.
We must recognize that suicide prevention and relationship violence prevention are deeply intertwined. Survivors need more than just resources; they need connection. They need to know that someone sees them, hears them, and believes them. They need spaces where they can speak without fear, heal without shame, and rebuild without judgment. And they need us, all of us, to understand that relationship violence is not just a private issue. It’s a public health issue. It’s a suicide prevention issue. It’s a mental health issue. It’s a human issue.
If you are hurting, please know this: you are not alone. Your life matters. There is help, and there is hope. You are worthy of love, safety, and healing.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7.
For survivors of relationship violence, at Human Options, we offer emergency shelter, counseling, legal support, and more. Call our 24-hour hotline at (877) 854-3594 or visit humanoptions.org to learn more about our services and resources.
