In June, we observe World Elder Abuse Awareness Day to spotlight the silent epidemic of elder abuse affecting older adults worldwide. When we talk about relationship violence, many people picture young couples, maybe families with children. What we don’t talk about enough is how this same violence shows up later in life and how it can follow people into their 60s, 70s, and beyond. For older adults, relationship violence is often not just about romantic partners or spouses. Sometimes, heartbreakingly, the harm comes from the very children they raised.
This kind of abuse doesn’t always look the way we expect. It can come quietly, in the form of a raised voice, a taken check, or long hours of silence and isolation. And sometimes, it’s loud, in both its words and actions. But whether subtle or overt, abuse in later life is just as real and just as dangerous.
Margaret, 74, spent her life in what others called a “good marriage.” From outside, everything seemed steady. But for decades, behind closed doors, Margaret endured a husband who belittled her, controlled her every move, and dismissed her needs. After he retired, things got worse. He became more volatile, more physically intimidating. When Margaret finally confided in her sister, she asked, “Who’s going to help a woman my age start over?”
George, 69, had a different kind of story. His adult daughter moved back home after losing her job, and at first it felt good to have company again. But soon, the tension started to grow. Arguments turned into shouting, and shouting turned into threats. George found himself handing over money out of fear. “It’s my own child,” he said. “How do you explain that to anyone?”
These aren’t just isolated cases. Stories like Margaret’s and George’s happen every day. Older adults are especially vulnerable because the people hurting them are often the ones they rely on most for care, for housing, even for basic companionship.
The reasons this abuse happens vary. Sometimes it’s the stress of caregiving, mixed with a lack of support. Sometimes it’s financial desperation, mental health struggles, or long-standing patterns of generational trauma and control that only intensify over time. But at the core of it all is a painful truth: these are not just bad relationships. This is abuse. And it doesn’t matter how old someone is, it’s never too late to say, “This isn’t okay.”
Yet many older adults stay silent. They worry about losing a relationship, no matter how toxic. They’re afraid they won’t be believed. Some think they’re too old to ask for help. But no one is ever too old to feel safe. No one is too old to be treated with kindness and respect.
At Human Options we understand that abuse can show up in many forms and at any stage of life. That’s why our Safe Options for Seniors, a program built specifically for older adults facing abuse, whether it’s from a spouse, partner, adult child, or other family member.
Our team offers confidential, compassionate support without judgment. Whether you need help with safety planning, housing, legal options, or simply someone to talk to, we’re here. We’ll walk beside you, at your pace, and help you find your path back to safety and dignity. If you or someone you know is struggling with relationship violence, call our 24/7 hotline at (877) 854-3594. Because you deserve peace not pain. At every age.
