Imagine
Living
A Life
Without
Fear
Since 1981, Human Options has impacted the lives of more than 500,000 people affected by relationship violence. 90% of survivors who completed our program have moved forward towards safety and healing. Reclaim a life free of fear for yourself or for someone you care about.
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ABOUT HUMAN OPTIONS
Before the abuse, Sarah was a woman full of dreams, a resilient, hopeful mother determined to build a life filled with love and opportunity for her children. Despite a complicated relationship with her own family, she found comfort in the promises of her husband and believed deeply in the future they had planned together. But that dream quickly unraveled.
Shortly after moving abroad with her husband, Sarah began to notice controlling behaviors that soon escalated into physical abuse. Fearing for her safety and the well-being of her newborn son, she made the courageous decision to return to her mother’s home. But the comfort she hoped for was short-lived. Her mother’s own controlling tendencies left Sarah feeling isolated once again. With few options and desperate for stability, she reconciled with her husband after he vowed to change.
Hope flickered once more when Sarah became pregnant again. But the cycle of abuse continued. Her husband refused to work, became increasingly violent, and Sarah was forced to make another impossible decision, this time fleeing with three young children and nowhere to go. They lived in their van, navigating each day with uncertainty. Despite her own physical disabilities and the unbearable challenges of homelessness, Sarah never lost sight of her goal: a better life for her children. She made sure they were enrolled in good schools, attended soccer practices, and that their lives still had moments of normalcy and joy. She enrolled in school by herself, refusing to let go of the future she once imagined.
During this time, Sarah learned about Human Options and added herself to the housing waitlist. Her strength and determination never wavered. Even in the most difficult moments, she stayed proactive and hopeful. Within a month, a spot in a housing program opened, and Sarah and her children had a roof over their heads and the foundation for a fresh start.
With the stability and support of Human Options, Sarah began to heal. She secured a full-time job, which not only gave her financial independence but also allowed her to improve her credit score and successfully transition into her own apartment through the DV-Bonus rental assistance grant. Sarah and her children now had a safe, stable place to call home.
“I never thought I’d be able to live a life where I wasn’t scared all the time. Now, I wake up and I know my kids are safe, I’m safe. I can finally dream again.”- Sarah
Today, Sarah continues to work full-time and is back in college, attending classes in person as she works toward her Associate’s degree. She’s focused on saving income to ensure long-term independence and dreams of a future where she can help others, perhaps working in childcare or supporting survivors of domestic violence like herself.
Annie dreamed of a loving family. When she found out she was pregnant, she hoped for a beautiful future with the person she loved. But as months passed, small disagreements turned into bigger issues, and the emotional toll of the relationship grew. At first, she thought it was just part of building a family, but as her pregnancy progressed, the signs of abuse became undeniable. When her son was born, she hoped for a fresh start, but the stress and tension in her relationship only worsened. Annie knew she could no longer ignore the signs—she needed help and to get out.
That’s when Annie reached out to Human Options. Our hotline advocates responded right away, providing her with the immediate support she needed. Annie and her baby were welcomed into our shelter, where she received the essentials, a bassinet, diapers, and bottles, to make her feel cared for as a new mother. In the beginning, Annie kept to herself, focusing on her baby and trying to process the rapid changes in her life. She was navigating the challenges of new motherhood in an environment filled with uncertainty and fear, yet she did so with grace, showing an immense amount of love and care for her son. But as the days passed, the weight of everything she had been through began to surface. She opened up to our staff, sharing how overwhelming it was to be a new mom while coping with the trauma of an abusive relationship. Annie had always been someone who wanted to do everything herself, to keep going even when things were hard. But through counseling and support from our team, she began to see that asking for help wasn’t a sign of weakness, it was a strength. We helped her arrange childcare one or two times a week with the help of her support system, so she could take time for herself and heal.
This simple act of prioritizing her own well-being was transformative for Annie, who is now finally beginning to feel more whole. She found strength in the idea that taking care of herself was just as important as caring for her child. She no longer had to carry the weight alone. She could ask for help and still be the loving mother she wanted to be. Over time, Annie grew more confident in her ability to care for herself and her baby. Her experience at the shelter gave her the tools to navigate her healing, and she came to realize that she had the power to shape her own future. As her stay came to an end, Annie made plans to stay with her mother, who had supported her by providing childcare during her time in the shelter. She was also awaiting a spot in a transitional housing program to take the next step toward stability.
Annie started out seeking love and family, and in the process, she found something even more important: herself. Her journey is one of rediscovery, of finding her voice, and of learning that asking for help is an essential part of strength. Annie is no longer defined by the abuse she faced. She is a mother, a survivor, and a woman who has learned that love starts with self-care.
Before joining Human Options, Talia was residing with her abuser and had recently given birth to her sixth child. At this juncture, the severity and danger of the abuse necessitated a difficult decision between staying in her home or risking homelessness for herself and her children. Talia demonstrated remarkable strength and courage in prioritizing her and her children’s safety as she carefully assessed the best course of action to ensure their well-being.
Talia’s brother-in-law, an advocate for people with alcoholism, influenced her journey to Human Options. She feared his reaction but was relieved when he believed her. His support helped Talia seek help and remove her children from danger. That evening, she called Human Options for assistance.
When Talia arrived at the shelter, she was understandably overwhelmed by the challenges of caring for her six children while navigating an uncertain situation. However, her resilience shone through as she gradually settled into the routine and found ways to manage her time more effectively. Talia’s increasing involvement in group activities and her engagement with her advocates demonstrated her commitment to personal growth and achieving her goals. One of the most noticeable shifts in Talia’s journey was her growing confidence, especially after successfully securing a restraining order with the support of our legal advocates. For the first time, Talia felt a sense of relief and security, allowing her to focus more on herself and her children’s well-being.
Talia is still utilizing Human Options services and is part of our permanent housing program after successfully transitioning from our emergency shelter. During her time with us, she set a significant goal for herself: securing a car. Talia worked diligently, saving money throughout her stay in the shelter, to make this goal a reality. Her determination and hard work continue to propel her forward as she strives to achieve greater independence.
Before her departure, Talia stopped by the Hotline office and cheerfully described her new home as spacious, allowing her children a sense of privacy they hadn’t experienced in years. With optimism shining brightly, Talia saw this step as a new beginning for her family, filled with hope and a future free from violence and fear.
Ava was once a dedicated student, excelling in her academics and full of promise for a bright future. However, her life took a drastic turn when her loving partnership morphed into a cycle of manipulation and violence. Despite her academic achievements, Ava felt trapped and isolated from her friends and family.
As her partner’s violent outbursts escalated physically, the risks to her and her five children, especially her newborn, became unbearable. It was during this time that close family members recognized the danger she was in and encouraged her to seek help. They introduced her to Human Options, a safe place where she could find support and resources.
Initially hesitant and overwhelmed by the thought of leaving, Ava ultimately made the courageous choice to protect her children. Arriving at the shelter exhausted but determined, she began to rebuild her life. With the support of the staff and community, Ava not only worked through her trauma but also rediscovered her inner strength and potential. Through counseling and parenting workshops, she transformed her mindset from feeling trapped to embracing hope and empowerment. Her journey was inspiring and became a source of encouragement for others at the shelter.
Today, Ava thrives in stable housing, nurturing her children, and looking back with pride at how far she has come and credits the support and resources at Human Options for providing her with the tools to rebuild her life. Despite enduring abuse and isolation, Ava was resilient and is now creating a better life for herself and her children.
Laila was a devoted stay-at-home mom to her three boys, living in a local beach community. Laila’s world took a dark turn when her husband’s struggle with substances led to manipulative behaviors and emotional abuse towards her and their children. To protect her family, Laila bravely sought a Domestic Violence Temporary Restraining Order (DVTRO) and reached out for support through Human Options.
With a compassionate legal advocate by her side, Laila faced the court with courage, ultimately obtaining a one-year Permanent Domestic Violence Restraining Order. Empowered by this, she received assistance navigating her custody and divorce proceedings. Through one of our family law clinics, she learned how to request a move-away order to Utah, where a supportive group of friends, family, and church community awaited her. After a thorough child custody investigation, the court recommended that Laila maintain full custody and supported her decision to relocate to Utah. Despite her ex-husband’s continued attempts to disrupt their lives, like violating the DVRO by vandalizing her family home and sending manipulative messages, Laila stood firm. With her legal advocate’s unwavering support, she filed for a renewal of her DVRO.
In August 2024, Laila faced the court again, accompanied by her legal advocate, and successfully received a five-year extension of her DVRO. Today, Laila is happily remarried and thriving in Utah with her blended family. Her children thrive in an environment of love, stability, and healthy love. Laila reflects on her journey with pride, sharing how she and her family have transformed their lives, leaving behind the shadows of abuse and embracing their new life and future.
Before Stephanie came to Human Options, she was a vibrant, adventurous, and artistic soul with the power to accomplish anything she set her mind to. But after entering an abusive relationship, everything changed. The abuse dimmed her light, and as a single mother, Stephanie’s primary concern shifted to her son, Jeff. She feared for his well-being, heartbroken over her inability to shield him from the pain she was enduring. Jeff, once a happy and carefree child, began showing signs of anxiety, unable to sleep due to the fears surrounding their new life, the changes in their home, and the uncertainty of their surroundings. Stephanie and Jeff had been living in a hotel, fleeing from the violence Stephanie had suffered. The physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, and financial abuse had pushed her to her breaking point. Determined to create a safe future for her son, Stephanie knew she could no longer stay in the toxic environment. She reached out to the Human Options hotline, and her journey toward safety and healing began.
While in our Emergency Shelter, Stephanie found a supportive community that helped her reclaim her sense of self. Despite the overwhelming challenges, Stephanie’s optimism remained steadfast, especially when it came to advocating for her son. Jeff, facing the anxiety of starting school in a new environment, struggled with the transition. But Stephanie was determined to make sure his needs were met. She worked tirelessly to communicate with the school and district, ensuring that his voice, and her own, was heard. Her advocacy efforts paid off. Stephanie found a school that aligned with Jeff’s unique needs, reducing his stress and allowing him to thrive. “Thank you so much for your assistance in making this happen and finding out about the Independent Study school. It makes a big difference for Jeff; he feels much less stressed,” Stephanie shared after the meeting with the school. Seeing her son finally feeling safe and excited about his education was a testament to Stephanie‘s strength and dedication.
Today, Stephanie and Jeff continue their healing journey through our transitional housing program. Stephanie‘s courage, resilience, and unrelenting advocacy for her son show just how strong a mother’s love can be. Through every challenge, Stephanie is reclaiming her light and creating a future of safety and opportunity for both herself and Jeff.
Mariah was once full of life and joy—a mother of two, embracing every moment as a mother with excitement. But everything changed when she entered an abusive relationship. What began as small shifts soon grew into verbal, psychological, and mental abuse that left her questioning her worth and feeling drained. Over time, Mariah felt trapped in a cycle of confusion and isolation, unable to recognize the toll it was taking.
After years of silent suffering, she reached a turning point. Mariah knew she had to leave, not only for herself but for the well-being of her children. Seeking healing, she started therapy and learned that the abuse wasn’t her fault—it was part of a pattern she could break free from. Her therapist suggested the Human Options PEP (Positive Empowerment Program) to help her better understand the abuse she’d endured.
At first, Mariah was anxious about the program, unsure of what emotions it might stir. But after just a few classes, something changed. She began to connect with the material, gaining clarity about her experiences and feeling empowered. With each lesson, her confidence grew. She became eager to learn, even reaching out for more resources and support.
Mariah is still attending PEP, exploring other community resources, and continuing therapy. Reflecting on her journey, she shared, “The courses are doing so much for me. The topics validate my experiences, and I’m learning so much about myself. I never knew that denial was a gift my mind used to protect me. I’m amazed and thankful for my body and mind in a way I’ve never felt before.”
Mariah’s story is one of strength, transformation, and courage. Each step she takes brings her closer to reclaiming her life, empowering herself to rise above the past and build a safe and violence-free future for herself and her children.
Vanessa’s story begins like many others: from the outside, her life appears perfectly normal. She lived with her husband and three daughters, maintaining the façade of a happy family. But within the walls of their home, Vanessa and her children existed in a constant state of anxiety, feeling as if they were perpetually walking on eggshells. Her husband’s temper loomed like a dark shadow over their home, making every moment unpredictable. As long as she catered to his needs, the chaos seemed manageable—but deep down, Vanessa knew this wasn’t how life was meant to be. Over time, the reality of her situation became clearer. Vanessa found herself juggling all the responsibilities—cooking, cleaning, paying bills—essentially running the household alone while her husband’s control tightened around them. The emotional burden became unbearable, and after one particularly explosive confrontation, where he unleashed his anger on their children, Vanessa reached a breaking point. She realized she could no longer allow fear to dictate their lives. With every ounce of courage, she reached out to Human Options and found safety at the Emergency Shelter.
For the first time, she saw herself as an independent individual, deserving of respect and freedom. The shelter provided not just a safe haven but also a nurturing environment where she could heal and rediscover her strength. With the support of dedicated staff and invaluable resources, she began to envision a future filled with hope. This support allowed her to find an apartment for herself and her daughters—a space where they could finally feel safe and begin rebuilding their lives. Vanessa now has the stability she needs to focus on saving money and planning for their future. During the walkthrough of her new apartment, the weight of her journey washed over her. “This doesn’t feel real,” she shared, tears of gratitude filling her eyes. “I feel like I just got so lucky with the support Human Options is giving my family. I am just so grateful for everything you’ve done to help us.”
Meredith, an assistant for the County of Orange, always dreamed of a better life for herself and her three daughters. In 2018, she and her partner purchased a home together, but what began as a hopeful chapter quickly turned dark. The verbal abuse escalated to physical confrontations, and her partner’s jealousy turned invasive, leading him to track Meredith’s movements via trackers and airtags secretly.
Feeling trapped, Meredith’s only place for safety and peace was in her garage to escape the turmoil inside. The environment grew unbearable as she faced humiliation and fear daily, often having to leave work to protect her daughters from her partner’s rage. Desperate for change, she found support through the Santa Ana Family Justice Center, where she was connected to Human Options.
With the guidance of a legal advocate, Meredith began to envision a life free from abuse. They safety-planned together, and when she realized the danger her daughters faced continued escalating, she took a courageous step: she reached out to our emergency shelter. Upon entering the shelter, Meredith attended a Family Law Clinic, gaining essential legal advice that empowered her to advocate for her and her daughter’s safety.
Over time, Meredith transformed her despair into strength. She obtained a permanent restraining order and full custody of her daughters, and with newfound determination, she initiated divorce proceedings. No longer overwhelmed by tears, she emerged as a resilient advocate for herself and her family. Today, Meredith is a dedicated single mother, balancing work and her daughters’ extracurricular activities while actively participating in healing programs.
Before entering Human Options, Isabella dedicated her life to helping others as a case worker at an adult care center. Her commitment to providing services and resources to her clients was a testament to her compassionate nature. However, her own life took a dark turn when her partner began threatening her, both emotionally and financially, creating a terrifying and dangerous situation. He would threaten to take her income away so that she couldn’t leave. In the weeks leading up to her arrival at Human Options, Isabella’s abuser escalated his threats by saying he would kill her, visiting her workplace, and bombarding her with calls, ultimately leading to her having to quit her job. The turning point came one day when her partner made a shocking call to their daughter, Hanah. In a chilling display of intimidation, he asked if Isabella wanted him to die. The trauma of witnessing such a confrontation pushed Isabella to take decisive action. Faced with an urgent need to escape, Isabella took the courageous step of reaching out to shelters to leave for good and found Human Options in their search for safety.
Isabella was overwhelmed. She grappled with doubts about her ability to raise Hanah alone and concerns about her future. The process of healing and finding her footing was daunting. However, through therapy and participation in art therapy groups, Isabella began to reclaim her strength and confidence. She learned to remind herself of the reasons for her escape whenever feelings of shame or guilt of leaving began to resurface.
With time and support, Isabella’s transformation became profound. She now finds solace and empowerment in her newfound independence. She is more confident in raising Hanah by herself. Isabella and Hanah continued their journey at our Family Resource Center and successfully transitioned to their own home. Providing her with a much-needed sense of safety, Human Options was able to enhance her home’s security with new locks and a Ring camera.
Today, Isabella is preparing to return to her position at the adult care center, ready to once again make a difference in the lives of others. Her story is a powerful testament to resilience and personal growth. She expressed during her final session, “I am so glad that I found you guys. I feel safe for me and my daughter again.”
Before coming to the U.S., Elena had a stable life in Mexico, including her own home. Driven by her partner’s promise of a brighter future, she took a leap of faith and moved to America. But the reality she faced was far from the dreams she had been sold. Her partner not only blocked her from working but also failed to secure the promised visa, leaving Elena and her daughter isolated and confined in a life she hadn’t envisioned.
The turning point came when Elena, in a moment of profound courage, decided to flee from Fresno to Orange County with her daughter. Their journey took an unexpected but pivotal turn at the Anaheim train station, where, lost and seeking a way back to Mexico, Elena encountered two strangers. One of these compassionate individuals encouraged her to reach out to a domestic violence hotline, a suggestion that would change her life.
Through the support of our residential program, Elena began her journey to rebuild her life. Initially, she grappled with feelings of doubt, needing to prove her honesty just to access basic necessities. Yet, with each passing day, Elena’s strength and confidence blossomed. She learned to ask for help with conviction, embracing her new environment with grace and self-assurance.
Today, Elena and her daughter are thriving in a housing program through one of our partners, and continue on their healing journey. Elena’s own words echo her unwavering determination: “Quiero estar aquí y echarle ganas” – “I want to be here and put in the effort.”
Before finding Human Options, Sean and his family were constantly moving from shelter to shelter, relocating five times in one year. They lived in a state of perpetual fear, as Sean’s mother was being brutally abused by his father. Fearing Sean would learn that such behaviors were acceptable, his mother knew they had to escape the cycle of violence. One night, after several sleepless and worrisome nights, they finally found safety at Human Options.
At Human Options, Sean and his mother began their journey to healing. Initially resistant to counseling, Sean struggled with controlling his emotions, often acting out at school and finding it difficult to communicate his feelings. Despite his initial reluctance, through multiple counseling sessions, he gradually began to open up. As trust was built, Sean started to feel more comfortable discussing his feelings. He learned about coping skills and practiced them regularly, leading to noticeable progress in expressing his thoughts and emotions. Sean began looking forward to his sessions and found effective coping mechanisms that helped him handle stressful situations better. His school experience improved significantly, with no further disruptions.
Now living closer to their extended family, Sean enjoys spending time with his cousins. He has grown more willing to explore his emotions and includes his mother. In his last counseling session, Sean expressed his gratitude, saying, “Thank you for teaching me about emotions.”
Nikki was an educated therapist and entrepreneur thriving in her home state. While holding a master’s degree in social work, she was on the brink of launching her own business and writing a novel about her experiences and journey of trauma and healing. However, her aspirations and progress were abruptly paused when Nikki fell in love and ended up in a controlling and abusive relationship. For years Nikki struggled to understand how “she” could end up in an abusive relationship even though she was educated and had worked with individuals who had been in abusive relationships. Scared to be judged or not believed, Nikki kept her pain behind closed doors. The abuse got so dangerous it became life-threatening causing Nikki to make the tough decision of leaving her home and state to find safety.
Finding herself in California, Nikki urgently needed shelter and reached out to multiple organizations across the state but could not get connected to any service or support. When she called Human Options, she was provided with immediate support, securing a hotel room for a night before transitioning into our residential programs and entering the shelter the following day. When she first came to Human Options, she could not meet her basic needs like getting food, and navigating health insurance, let alone familiarizing herself with a new environment.
Since joining the program, Nikki has experienced significant growth and regained her sense of security. Through the support and resources provided to her, Nikki now feels empowered and proactive as she continues her journey. Nikki has stabilized her immediate needs and is now focused on finding employment and continuing her healing journey. Just last month, Nikki launched her media website, highlighting stories of women’s empowerment in communities of color.
For years, Andi endured unimaginable abuse at the hands of her ex-husband, Carl, encompassing physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual trauma. Despite the horrific experiences, Andi refused to be defined by her past, wanting to break the cycle and embarking on a journey of healing and empowerment. Having previously entered our shelter and completed our services, Andi continued her healing journey and independence. However, when Carl reentered their lives after three years of absence, the peace Andi had painstakingly built was shattered. Despite her reservations, Andi allowed Carl to visit their daughters, only to witness Sophia, their middle daughter, exhibiting concerning behavioral issues soon after, acting out and not following rules at home. As the situation escalated, Carl started threatening Andi to file for full legal custody of Sophia and take her away from Andi. That’s when she needed to get help.
Turning to Human Options once again, she found solace and guidance in our services. Meeting with a Legal Advocate at the CHEC Family Resource Center, Andi found herself facing a tight deadline to respond to Carl’s custody request. Attending a Family Law Clinic later that day, she received invaluable assistance from pro bono attorneys who helped draft her response and declaration. Andi found unwavering support as the Legal Advocate helped facilitate her remote court mediation appointment. Grateful for the guidance, she was also introduced to the U-Visa process, offering a glimmer of hope amidst the turmoil. Through the Immigration Clinic, Andi learned she qualified for a U-Visa, offering both legal status and protection.
With the support of our partners at Community Legal Aid, Andi’s certification request for the U-Visa was submitted, offering a pathway to safety and security. Accompanied by our Legal Advocate, Andi navigated her custody hearing with newfound courage, feeling heard and empowered to advocate for herself and her daughters. Through it all, Andi’s resilience and determination shine brightly, a testament to her unwavering commitment to creating a better future for herself and her children. With the U-Visa application underway and hopeful resolution of the custody case on the horizon, Andi stands tall, embodying the spirit of a resilient woman who does whatever it takes to break the cycle for her daughters.
When Drew landed a job at a local keychain company, she felt an immediate connection with her supervisor George. What initially seemed like the start of something special turned sour, as their relationship spiraled into emotional abuse and workplace harassment leaving Drew feeling alone and helpless. Drew faced limited options and felt trapped in her situation. At work, George would schedule meetings with Drew and belittle her and tell her how incompetent or incapable she was of tasks asked of her and it would carry into when they got home. The relentless abuse took a toll on her mental health, leading to symptoms of depression and anxiety, not being able to eat or sleep. Despite her struggles, Drew felt she had no choice but to endure the pain, as leaving her job seemed impossible.
However, a glimmer of hope emerged when a concerned coworker noticed Drew’s distress and referred her to Magnolia Park Family Resource Center. Initially, Drew’s outlook was bleak, expressing a deep sense of worthlessness and despair. But through counseling and support from the Human Options therapist, Drew began to find the strength to envision a better life for herself.
With each counseling session, Drew’s resilience grew stronger. She participated in various services offered through the Family Resource Center. Gradually, Drew reclaimed her sense of self-worth and confidence. She learned to advocate for herself in the workplace, leading to positive changes like being transferred to a new department with a new supervisor. Through therapy, Drew embraced self-care and rediscovered activities that brought her joy, like going for walks and crocheting.
Today, Drew walks into work every day smiling and hopeful for what the day will bring. While her journey to healing is ongoing, she is committed to her healing and fostering positive healthy relationships.
At just 14 years old, Michelle found herself navigating a tumultuous relationship, lacking support from family and friends. By 17, she became a mother, bearing the responsibility of caring for her children while being controlled by her partner. Michelle and her family came to the United States in hopes of starting over their relationship and building a better life for their children. However, the abuse she endured only intensified, leaving her fearful and isolated in a foreign country. Michelle’s children began waking up throughout the night with night terrors, a consequence of the abuse occurring in the home. It took a final act of violence for Michelle to seek help, finding refuge in our Emergency Shelter.
Despite facing numerous challenges, Michelle displayed remarkable resourcefulness and resilience. With the support services of the Family Resource Center and shelter staff, she began to reclaim her independence and support her children. Learning basic skills such as making phone calls and navigating public transportation, Michelle embraced each new opportunity for growth, while her children learned how to express and regulate their emotions.
Transitioning from shelter to the Family Healing program, Michelle continued to persevere. Despite her immigration status limiting access to public assistance, she remained determined to provide a stable foundation for her family. Through therapy and ongoing support, she and her children embarked on a journey of healing from the trauma they had endured.
Throughout her journey, Michelle’s transformation was profound. From seeking guidance multiple times a day to confidently making her own decisions, she blossomed into a self-sufficient and empowered individual. Her optimism and resilience served as an inspiration to those around her, demonstrating that with courage and determination, one can overcome even the greatest of obstacles. Michelle’s children are healing and beginning to sleep through the night without waking up from night terrors.
As Michelle continues to pursue her goals of finding employment and permanent housing, her unwavering spirit serves as a beacon of hope for a brighter future. Her journey is a testament to the power of resilience, proving that with support and determination, anything is possible.
Emma was a hardworking mother. While taking care of her family, she was suffering in silence, enduring physical, emotional, and verbal abuse by her husband. He was controlling what she was doing, where she was going, and would get upset whenever she returned home from work late, escalating to a point where she was held at gunpoint by him. She was scared to lose her life and leave her children without a mother. Isolated from her family and friends, Emma felt helpless and alone. She noticed her eldest daughter was beginning to understand what domestic violence was. Keeping her newborn and children safe was her priority. She was determined to seek help and leave the abusive relationship. Her desire to start a new life away from abuse is what led her to Human Options.
Emma reached out to our Hotline and entered our emergency shelter. At first, she was afraid of going into a shelter but knew she had made the right decision. She was very impressed with the facility and was not expecting our shelter to look like a normal and safe place. She felt relief once she got to shelter with her children. Emma was eager to learn and participate in the services available to her. Because she felt supported and safe, Emma was continuously working hard to meet her goals.
Emma is currently in our Family Healing program working alongside her case manager to create a plan to establish a new life in California. She feels safe and now hopeful for her and her children.
Aubrey had her own catering business, priding herself in being a strong and hardworking woman. Throughout her career, Aubrey endured years of emotional, psychological, physical, and financial abuse from her husband Michael. He kept her isolated and destroyed her mental health by keeping her under constant stress and anxiety. As she volunteered at their children’s school, she had learned about domestic violence and supportive services. She slowly started to participate in a support group and develop a safety plan while Michael was at work.
One night, Aubrey was getting ready to leave for a catering event when Michael changed his mind about watching their kids. She tried to reason with him, but he just kept yelling at her to shut up. Michael became enraged and threatened Aubrey with his closed fist against her face. Michael’s violence was increasing so she started to actively work on her safety plan. With a safety plan she was able to flee the abuse, Aubrey was forced to make a decision between focusing on her and her children’s safety and wellbeing or keeping her business afloat. A business she worked so hard to establish to support herself and her two little boys.
Aubrey was connected to Human Options through her case manager, who helped her call the hotline. Upon entering the shelter, it was clear how much emotional and psychological abuse she had endured. Every time Aubrey would talk about the abuse or Michael, she would get emotional and cry. When she met with her legal advocate, she was hesitant about filing for a Domestic Violence Temporary Restraining Order (DVTRO). After participating in our shelter, Personal Empowerment Program and counseling, she decided to file for a DVTRO. Aubrey attended a Family Law Clinic to review her declaration. The volunteer attorney reviewed her declaration and provided feedback. From there our Legal Advocacy team helped her file a DVTRO. She obtained the DVTRO and secured a move out order. Aubrey was still extremely nervous about court, especially after not having seen Michael for a long time. Through HO’s Pro Bono Volunteer Program, our Legal Advocacy team successfully linked Aubrey to a family law attorney.
After entering Second Step, she was able to return home. After several months of uncertainty about her housing situation, Aubrey was able to go back home with her children. She continues to receive Legal Advocacy services and her Legal Advocate will be providing court accompaniment for her next Restraining Order hearing. She shared, “my children need me to be strong and I have to show them I can do this”.
Prior to participating in Human Options services, Bailey was working in the educational field, living with her partner Oliver and was expecting her first child. During her pregnancy, she noticed Oliver’s unusual behavior. He gradually began to abuse her physically and verbally. After her first daughter was born, the physical and verbal abuse intensified as he began to financially abuse her. He falsified her credit card information which alerted Bailey to act, choosing what is best for her and her daughter’s future. She reached out for help in hopes of obtaining a restraining order but was unsuccessful. Distressed and feeling trapped, she stayed in the relationship and tried to make it work. After two years, she became pregnant again and shortly after began to receive eviction notices. Bailey discovered that for the past few months, Oliver had been withholding funds for himself from her bank account, funds that she had set aside to pay rent. With escalating threats and the risk of being homeless, she took a leap of faith and began to look into a restraining order once again.
After recognizing she needed to find a way to get out while working through the restraining order process, she connected with Human Options and found assistance right away. She was linked to a Case Manager, who then assisted her to find housing. After having been qualified and accepted, she was able to move into her new apartment. Bailey feels she now has the freedom to fight for herself and her kids. She can provide a safe space for her children to grow and learn in a healthier environment free of fear.
Aurora was a stay-at-home mom taking care of her four children and struggling to find stable housing. Before becoming a stay-at-home mom, she worked to support her family but quit her job after she had her youngest son. She always tried to make the relationship with her abusive partner work because she wanted her children to have both parents in their lives. Unfortunately, Aurora was forced to move to keep her family safe. Before arriving to Human Options, they had stayed at another emergency shelter. Aurora did not have a restraining order against her abusive partner and would allow him to visit the children in a safe place. One night, he followed her and tried forcing his way inside through the window and broke the screen. She was terrified that he would hurt her and force them to return home. Aurora informed the manager, and the police were called. They were safely transferred and entered our shelter.
Upon her arrival, Aurora was connected to case management, therapy, and legal advocacy services. She had obtained a Temporary Restraining Order and needed assistance preparing for her upcoming hearing. Her legal advocate Amelia helped her prepare for her Domestic Violence Restraining Order hearing, supplied education on immigration relief, provided transportation and accompanied her to court. With this support, she was able to obtain a three-year restraining order after the hearing with full legal and physical custody of her children. Aurora was filled with mixed emotions but understood that obtaining this order was going to keep her and her children safe. Her abusive partner remains in jail and has criminal charges pending. Since entering our shelter, Aurora is grateful for the support she’s received. Currently, she is working with her legal advocate to connect with an immigration clinic to learn more about the U-Visa and if she qualifies. She continues to work with her case manager and therapist, attending groups weekly as part of her healing journey.
Taylor recently immigrated from Japan to the US in search of a better life with more opportunities. In pursuit of her dreams, Taylor wasted no time. She dedicated herself to achieving independence, actively participating in language learning classes and acquiring general educational credits. She was doing well until she entered a relationship that was abusive. She slowly lost her independence, resigned from her jobs, and discontinued her education due to the direct impact of the abuse she experienced. Her isolation deepened when she became pregnant and couldn’t see a way out of her relationship. With no family and loved ones around during her son’s early years, she continued to endure instances of abuse. Taylor made the courageous decision to leave, but the long-lasting effects of the abuse lingered. She was experiencing anxiety and depression and decided to seek help.
Taylor reached out to Human Options directly, called the Hotline and was connected to our services. She accessed both legal and counseling services though our Newport-Mesa Family Resource Center. Once she began counseling, there were noticeable differences in her demeanor. Taylor began expressing her opinions and emotions more freely, started implementing self-care into her daily routine, reducing her anxiety and depressive symptoms, and allowed her to invest more care into her appearance. Once her sessions concluded, it was apparent that her journey towards reclaiming herself was unmistakable, and the joy she radiated by the end of treatment was genuinely heartwarming. She has regained her independence, creating her own next steps and plans to continue to practice self-care and push herself to do things she once loved and wanted to pursue.
When Grace was 15 years old she fell in love with 25 year old Matt. Things were great the first few years. They got married and had their first child when Grace was 18. Shortly after their oldest daughter was born Grace and Matt started having arguments about his drinking. She would tell him if he did not stop drinking so much, she was going to leave him with their daughter. After one of their arguments Matt got up abruptly and grabbed Grace by the throat, lifted her off the floor and dropped her down. She went to bed confused and scared that night that something was very wrong and that the relationship she thought was “normal” was not what she thought. The next day Matt acted as if nothing happened, leaving Grace feeling trapped and fearful of being physically harmed again. When she told him she wanted space he refused and said it would not happen again as long as she stopped questioning and telling him what to do. When Grace worked, Matt would not financially provide for Grace or their children. He would tell her that if she wanted financial support from him, she had to quit her job, which she eventually did. This cycle repeated itself.
Things changed for Grace. She was now a mother of three children, hiding in the shadows of her husbands abuse. She did as he said and when she did not, she saw the repercussions, through emotional and psychological abuse. He had taken her power and control away from her. Grace needed some reprieve and started working again. This was a recipe for more abuse and turmoil. People would tell her she should feel lucky her husband did not want her to work, but Grace felt she was under a microscope with no freedom. Matt would not allow her to shower alone, he had to be in the bathroom with her or in the shower. Grace had to facetime him minutes before clocking in because he wanted to see her clock in and make sure she was at work. He demanded she call him during her lunch, breaks, after work and was expected to be home at the same time and if not, he accused her of infidelity. When she did not do what he wanted the arguments would escalate at home. He would throw things across the room or involve the children in their arguments. She was terrified of him and what he would do to their children. Grace started to notice the fear in her children’s faces when he would come home and into the room.
This continued for several months until one day during one of the daily arguments, her 10 year old daughter called the police because she was scared and couldn’t handle the constant degrading and yelling at her mother. When the officers arrived to her home, Grace met Human Options DV Advocate, and was given shelter information, offered therapy, personal empowerment classes, and legal advocacy. Grace wasn’t ready yet to utilize services and spent the night at a motel with her children. Matt did not stop calling her that night, with 422 missed calls from him. Grace did not know what to do, she felt even more lost and hopeless. Matt knew exactly what to say to Grace, apologizing, assuring her he would change and so Grace and her children ended up back with Matt.
Grace maintained contact with DV Advocate but was being surveilled by Matt. Although she wanted help, Grace feared Matt would find out she was in contact with Human Options. With all the tracking, phone calls and texts, Grace had to be creative about how to get help. She signed her children up for art classes at the local Family Resource Center, where she was able to work with one of Human Options’ Legal Advocates during their art classes to obtain a Domestic Violence Temporary Restraining Order (DVRO) along with a move out order. This led to Matt being arrested since he refused to comply with the orders.
Grace is still nervous about filing documents in court, but expressed that she is now more hopeful after being granted the DVRO. She did not think she had enough evidence and was terrified of taking the necessary steps to leave because her husband controlled everything. She would say “Sometimes I felt like a single fish in a tiny fishbowl” because he always wanted to know her every move.
Her next step is to file for divorce and attend a family law clinic with the Legal Advocacy team to learn more about her rights and protections. She also plans to start counseling for her and children to work through the trauma all they endured the last several years. Grace is empowered now to call law enforcement for assistance, and feels confident using her DVRO.
“I knew services existed, but my husband would not hit me so I thought I was ineligible. No one believed the abuse I was going through was actual abuse. I felt crazy. It is still unreal that a judge believed me and said what I went through was domestic violence.” – Mother & Survivor
Quinn, mother of three, was a supervision aide at an elementary school and worked evenings at a laundry mat. She enjoyed working at the school and found her work impactful in children’s lives giving her a sense of giving back to her community. Quinn put her children first juggling two jobs to meet her children’s needs and to keep up with bills. When Quinn met David she began to get isolated from her family and was told by him to give up a job in order to spend more time together. Quinn began to see red flags and wanted to leave David, but he would say he would change and would shower her with gifts and affection. After a short period, David would revert back to his behavior and would threaten Quinn saying he would harm her and her children. Quinn was stuck in a cycle that just kept repeating with David, but would stay hoping things would get better. Quinn knew this wasn’t the life her children deserved and needed to protect her family. Quinn found the strength to get out when her friend shared about Human Options and gave her the hotline number.
Quinn and her children were accepted to Human Options’ transitional housing program. In the beginning Quinn was having a hard time not having a job, adjusting and transitioning to the program because she would constantly think about how she got to where she was, thinking about her time before meeting David when things were safe and stable. Quinn would breakdown crying and panicking while her children were in school, feeling lost and alone. Quinn expressed feeling overwhelmed in knowing her housing situation was only temporary and did not know if she could get back on her feet ever again. Working with the Human Options team, Quinn focused on taking one step at a time determined to get into a more secure, safe and stable situation. She developed a plan to focus on her mental health and wellbeing and get herself back on track. Quinn was starting to heal from the trauma and knew employment was her goal to start making an income. She was provided with a Job Fair flyer happening in the community one weekend. Quinn took the initiative to attend the job fair and was hired on the spot for Parks and Recreation through the city working with children. Since starting her position with the city, Quinn has been in a brighter mood and smiling more. She enjoys working with the children at her job and has a healthy work environment. With this job Quinn has been able to get back on her feet, taking one step forward at a time.
Quinn shared wanting to increase her income in order to apply for apartments near her work. Despite what happened in her life Quinn continued to keep going and pushing. She was able to increase her income and feels so empowered she was able to accomplish this by not giving up and utilizing the resources and support around her. Quinn is actively showing her children that through determination, being resourceful and not giving up, anything can be possible. She continues to work through her trauma and working towards a more permanent living situation.
“Thank you for sharing this opportunity to find a job. I have gone from earning $15/hr to $20/hr.” – Mother & Survivor
27 year old Charlie was an independent, strong willed person before meeting her partner. She was a California native who loved growing up in Southern California. She was secure in and loved her job as a business associate, and had many hobbies like working out and going to the beach. She cared for herself for as long as she could remember. Even though she was not as close as she wanted to be with her family, she always made it a point to keep in contact and maintain some sort of relationship with them as an adult. After meeting her partner, she was convinced to move out of state to Texas for her partner’s job. That’s when things started to change for Charlie. Charlie got married just 6 months into the relationship and moving in with her partner and had two children shortly after getting married. Her identity changed. For starters her partner didn’t allow her to work and wanted her to be a “stay at home housewife and mother.” Her partner made all the money in the household, but Charlie did not see nor enjoy any of that income both for her and her children. For years, Charlie quietly endured both emotional and physical abuse so that her children wouldn’t know. She would get yelled at and berated on a daily basis and when she tried to stand up for herself she would get badly beaten. Because of the financial abuse, she ended up going into debt, and has since been in heightened state of survival to protect herself and her two children under the age of three.
Knowing that she had no access to support in Texas, one day Charlie built the courage to get in the car with her two children and drive from Texas to California. She wanted to be back in an environment she knew and felt safe in. Unfortunately, her family was not supportive and wanted her to work things out. She even tried with her younger sister, but due to her own struggles, help was nowhere to be found. Charlie went into an emergency shelter in Long Beach but needed something more long term. She was living out of her car with her children for some time until she learned about Human Options’ transitional housing program. Being a strong willed person, Charlie connected with a case manager and advocated for her and her children to be accepted into one of the units.
Since moving to our transitional housing program, Charlie has always been on top of her goals and shows how determined she is to better her life for her and her children. Charlie knows that the journey to healing and full independence will take time but she is committed to everything that’s been offered to her. Since moving into her unit with her children, she has been actively looking for jobs in hopes to start building an income. Although she does not have a reliable source of income yet , she has been working with our partners at Sparkpoint to increase her credit to get herself back on track.
Charlie wants to be better off than when she left her life in Texas and go back to what things were like before getting into the abusive relationship. She has been gradually working to remove the many barriers she’s experienced from the being in a dangerous relationship, to her financial troubles, to rebuilding her support network. Although she is in temporary housing, Charlie and her children are safe, happy, and on the road to a more stable life. Her end goal is finding a good job, her children in daycare, and all of them living in permanent housing.
When Charlie was asked about a quote that speaks to her and her experience, she shared, “Life is like a book, and this is just a chapter. Not every chapter is good. But the end can still be great.” Charlie and her children are now able to go to the beach, live a violence free life and are finally on the journey of healing.
Casey was a budding entrepreneur running her own business. By age 26, she was married to her partner who she met through a mutual friend. Casey felt like she was on the path to success both professionally and personally. Everything was great and she was happy until the honeymoon phase was over with her spouse. That’s when the abuse started. Casey experienced emotional, physical, sexual, and digital abuse on an ongoing basis. Because of this continued and prolonged abuse from her partner, Casey developed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), with her mental health on the decline. It got so bad for her that she ended up seeking a Temporary Restraining Order. Although she had a protective order, Casey felt she always had to look over her shoulder. After her estranged spouse broke into her apartment three times she knew she needed to go into a shelter. Casey felt unsafe in her own home and knew she needed to get somewhere safe so she could begin to heal. She learned about Human Options through a Google search and was accepted into the emergency shelter.
Initially, Casey had a rough time adjusting to shelter life after being so independent. She would often feel lonely, and go to the Hotline office to talk with the advocates. Fortunately, she was able to find a healthy outlet to focus her energy on – jewelry-making. Over time, Casey began to feel more at ease at the shelter, because she was finally in a safe place and could start the healing process through counseling. Casey was able to make a safety plan for when she leaves the shelter and how to live violence free on her own.
Casey’s next steps are to live with her mom, in a supportive, safe environment. She plans to continue attending outside therapy, and finalize her divorce in the coming months.
“I am so grateful to be here. I haven’t felt safe in a long time.” – Survivor
When Joelle’s three children first came to shelter, they were extremely upset at the idea of moving schools until things were safe and free from violence. When they started attending their new school, all three children had multiple absences and had a hard time transitioning, especially her oldest son, Josh. Over time Josh’s other siblings started to enjoy their new schools and started making new friends. However, many times, Joelle had to pick up Josh from school because he was not feeling well emotionally and did not want to sit in class. Josh had a hard time focusing in school and staying present. He struggled to make friends and was extremely disconnected from his classmates and teachers. He held his head down and wouldn’t really speak to anyone. Due to the multiple absences and early pick-ups, the school proposed virtual learning for Josh.
Joelle knew that Josh needed support and time to get adjusted to all the changes he recently experienced, from fleeing a violent situation with his mom and siblings, to going to a shelter, and now attending a new school and leaving his friends behind. Joelle proposed the idea to Josh of staying at shelter and completing his schooling via virtual learning due the struggles that he was experiencing in school. Josh knew that virtual learning was not for him and would make him feel even more alone than he already was. Having shared that with his mother, Josh was resilient and knew he had to change his behaviors and outlook with his new school otherwise he would feel worse and more alone with virtual learning. He said to his mother, “Give me one more week. I will try to do better.” Trusting her son and knowing his strength and resilience, Joelle agreed to one more week back in school before considering the virtual learning option.
After one week, Josh started to build connections with the other kids in his classes and his teachers immediately noticed he was more attentive and engaged during class. Through our Children’s Program and other levels of support Josh started feeling better about going to his new school and happy about some of the new friends he started to make. His mood had drastically improved from when he first came to shelter and Joelle found that she no longer needed to pick him up from school early because he was not feeling well. Josh even started connecting and playing with the other children at the shelter and started to find his smile once again.
“I’ve made some new friends and like me teachers. I feel happy and like going to my new school.”
– Josh, Child, Survivor
Adrienne was living with her newly wedded husband prior to coming to Human Options. She thought married life was going to fun and happy. They had just gotten married a few months prior when her husband began being verbally and physically abusive. Adrienne and her husband lived with her husband’s cousin who was battling addiction with drugs. Adrienne mentioned she did not know if her husband was using as well but had suspicions he was especially when he was abusing her. Her husband would go through the cycle of being abusive and then loving towards her right after. After experiencing the cycle of violence repeatedly, Adrienne could not continue living the cycle any longer and decided she needed to leave; so, she fled from the county she was living in and found safety through Human Option’s emergency shelter.
While at shelter, Adrienne was very active and involved with the support and healing provided to her. She was very open to the services offered from legal to case management to therapeutic groups. She took a part in whatever she could. Adrienne worked with her legal advocate to file a restraining order and attended legal workshops to expand her knowledge about her rights.
Adrienne transformed from being very timid, to more vocal and outspoken. From the beginning she had a great drive for change, but throughout her time at shelter, she began the healing process and began to change and become more confident. She seemed more upbeat and happier as she accomplished her goals one at a time. When something did not work out the way she planned, she found a different option and went on to accomplish that. She truly showed her commitment to the program and herself to make change and maintain her safety. Adrienne was able to get into another program during her time at shelter and she was very excited for the opportunity. The amount of growth and healing Adrienne experienced was tremendous and was able to see for herself all that she was able to achieve. Adrienne’s story truly shows how much change can happen in such a short amount of time with the right support and access to care.
Lauren, a mother of four children, entered Human Options’ emergency shelter after making the brave decision to leave her husband after facing years of abuse. In her attempt to flee their violent home, Lauren’s four children were taken by CPS due to witnessing the severity of the domestic violence incident inflected on Lauren from her abuser.
Lauren quickly got to work while she was at the emergency shelter to provide everything she needed to secure a safe future for her children. During her marriage, Lauren experienced financial abuse in which her husband made her responsible for all their expenses, including accumulating thousands of dollars in past due rent. Working closely with her case managers and housing navigator, Lauren was able to get her finances in order and identify a plan to pay off her rental arrears with the assistance of the Acceleration Fund; removing barriers preventing Lauren from securing permanent housing. All her hard work paid off as she was able to secure a 3-bedroom condominium through an Emergency Housing Voucher.
Experiencing foster care, teenage pregnancy and domestic violence all before Lauren was 24 years old, she was determined to break the cycle of abuse for her children. During her time in the emergency shelter, Lauren was able to enroll in therapy and participate in Personal Empowerment classes. For the first time in her life, Lauren expressed that she was able to learn about what healthy relationships are and pass that onto her children.
Through Human Options support, Lauren and her children were able to move into their new home just in time for the holidays. She is now empowered to continue therapy for herself and her children on their journey of healing and looks forward to reconnecting with her community to build a support system.
| Veronica had suffered years of abuse at the hands of her son’s father when she was 15 years old. The abuse continued from verbal to emotional and Veronica had no control over her life and body. She became pregnant at the age of 16 and gave birth to her son Gavin. Veronica knew this would be no life to build for Gavin. During a violent incident, Veronica’s partner grabbed her by the chest and pushed her onto the wall. He shouted at Veronica to leave his home and that she better not be there when he got back. Veronica knew that those threats were not empty words. In the past he had threatened to kill her and “dispose of her body” where nobody would ever find her. Scared and unsure of what he would do to her she packed her things and left the home with her son. Veronica walked to the police station to report the abuse, but the officers were unable to help. Unsure of where to go with her son she walked to a park where a woman told her about the CHEC Family Resource Center. Veronica entered the CHEC Family Resource Center where she found safety for her and her son for the first time in a long time. She got help from a family support advocate who helped her in receiving a couple of nights at a motel until she could get into an emergency shelter. Through the collaborative work that Human Options provides through the Family Resource Centers, Veronica was connected with our Legal Advocacy Supervisor who was able to support in getting Veronica and Gavin to our emergency shelter. At the shelter, Veronica participated in the Personal Empowerment Program (PEP), counseling, case management, and legal advocacy. Through legal advocacy Veronica learned about her rights and felt empowered to file a police report against her Gavin’s father. Veronica also filed a Domestic Violence Temporary Restraining Order (DVTRO) and obtained a one-year order against Gavin’s father. Through the DVTRO Veronica obtained full legal and physical custody of Gavin. Veronica attended an immigration clinic where she learned about her rights and her son’s. Over the last several months Veronica has overcome her fear of the outside world. She started to use public transportation, something she was afraid of when she entered the shelter. Veronica’s next steps are to find employment to provide a better life for her and Gavin. She is continuing with our services and support in hopes to find permanent housing for her and her son in the near future. “I have to do this, I can’t be afraid all the time, I can do this.“ – Veronica, Mother, Survivor |
Coral endured a brutally abusive marriage of over 25 years. Her only memories of the marriage were years of physical, emotional, and psychological abuse. Coral was broken. She had extremely low self-esteem and wouldn’t make eye contact with anyone.
Her only escape to safety was during an incident when a neighbor called the police after Coral was badly beaten up. The police arrested her partner and gave Coral an Emergency Protective Order and DV resources in her community. She was connected with Minnie Street and Corbin Family Resource Centers to get help. She was quickly able to enroll in our Legal Advocacy services having limited to no knowledge about her rights or the resources available to her two children. She admitted that she felt non-existent and had no knowledge of how to help herself or her children.
In the beginning the Coral was adamant that she did not want a divorce or a restraining order because she was concerned her children would hate her. The advocate provided her with education on safety planning, housing rights, custody, divorce, and restraining order. After working with the Legal Advocate for a month she decided she wanted a divorce.
Coral is now in the process of finalizing her divorce. Although it was a difficult decision to make, Coral knew it was necessary step to reclaim her power and made a powerful decision and requested a DVRO on her own. After working with the Legal Advocate and learning about her rights, Coral’s self-esteem started to improved. She started to make eye contact with the Legal Advocate. She even declined needing court accompaniment when she wanted to file a DVRO and told the advocate that she felt “strong enough to do what I know I have to do”. Coral may have a long road to go but she knows she is not alone, and she recognizes that she has the tools to be successful.
57 year old Dawn was recently widowed and a retired teacher, with 2 sons and dealing with chronic health issues. She has her own apartment and her youngest adult son lives with her while attending college. She thought she could manage her health and begin to work through her grief from losing her husband, but Dawn was being verbally abused by one of her adult son’s.
Dawn’s oldest adult son Luke, lives out of state but has been blaming her for his father’s death and continues to threaten and harass her over the phone. Dawn blocked his calls, but before she did, he told her he would be coming into town “for a visit”. Dawn was extremely upset by this news because she feels her son has an undiagnosed mental illness and is worried about what he will do to her or her other son if he comes to her apartment. To add to her worries she was scared of losing her housing because if he came he would create problems for her and her neighbors.
In complete distress and fear, Dawn walked into the Human Options Business Office in crisis, in need to speak to someone immediately. Dawn was offered crisis counseling and safety planning. Once with Human Options, Dawn and her therapist developed a safety plan to keep her and her son safe. Dawn started to attend the Senior Empowerment Group, where started getting educated on the abuse and received support from other group members. Week after week, Dawn began to feel empowered and came to the conclusion that the abuse was not her fault nor did she deserve it. Dawn was thankful for the counseling and support she received from the group. Dawn thanked Human Options for all of the help she received and stated she felt more prepared and empowered after receiving services.
“I am no longer afraid of the power my son had over me, because he does not have it any more. I can finally move forward and begin the heal.” – Dawn, Wife, Mother, Survivor
Mia had been separated from her children for a year who were previously living at Orangewood Children’s Home, due to the extreme violence occurring in the home from their father. Mia knew that to get her children back she had to leave their father. Upon entering our emergency shelter, Mia had been working on reunifying with her four children, Mila, Derrick, Jayden, and Austin. When the kids finally arrived at our shelter, they were all dysregulated, had low self-esteem, and struggled to express their needs. There was also constant bickering and tension between the siblings. However, Mia has been able to provide stability and emotional support for her children throughout their stay at Human Options. Her kids have shown improvement in requesting for space, expressing their emotions, and self-regulating whenever they feel upset. Children’s Program have noticed they have become more confident in themselves and are able to persevere instead of giving up when an activity is too difficult. Additionally, they have constantly verbalized to staff how happy they are to be at Second Step and have learned to demonstrate compassion for one another by sharing toys, helping each other with tasks, and cheering up their siblings when they are feeling sad.
Furthermore, Mia’s school-aged children, Mila and Derrick, are both excelling in their academic studies. Mila was chosen as student of the month in her class and Derrick worked hard every day at school to make sure his project was ready in time to be put on display for Back-to-School night. When Mia’s family attended the event, Derrick proudly showed off his work and received positive feedback from both his teacher and peers.
“I never thought I would see my children smile again but now I have hope and know that we will be just fine.” – Mia, Survivor & Mother
When Cindy married her husband at age 19, she would have never imagined what the next 50 years with her husband would be like. Her husband would call her names, threaten her with weapons, and demean her in front of friends and family. Growing up in a strong Catholic family, Cindy did not believe in divorce. Cindy married with the intent to be “a good wife and mother”, but did not understand it meant she had to endure her husband’s behavior and abuse….til’ death do they part?
Cindy is 69 years old, scared, alone, and living in darkness. She attempted to get help once 15 years ago when she called the police, but instead of getting the help and support she needed, her daughter refused to believe her and would not let her grandchildren come over to visit anymore. From that experience Cindy learned not to tell anyone what was really going on behind closed doors. But over time, neighbors kept calling and reporting her husband’s behavior to the police and Adult Protective Services.
Finally after numerous reports and visits from socials workers , Cindy decided to attend a Senior Empowerment Group from our Safe Options for Seniors Program. Cindy figured it would be a good opportunity to leave the house for a few hours every week . She listened to a group of her peers explain the abuse they experienced and could relate. She slowly began opening up and sharing what she had been going through. She received feedback from group members telling her she did not need to live the way she was. After attending several sessions, Cindy finally admitted she did not want be in her abusive marriage anymore and was ready to get a divorce. She was supported by her peers in the group who gave her many words of encouragement and practical advice. Through support and the various services available to her Cindy was able to change her story.
Cindy is 69 years old, strong, resilient, and finally moving forward with her divorce and has not looked back since making the decision to leave. She credits her decision to the education and support from the groups she attended at Human Options.
“Thank you to Human Options for helping me to heal and learn how to live again. ” – Cindy, Mother & Survivor
Thirty-six year old Ellie endured a traumatic three-year relationship with the father of her youngest child. Ellie experienced brutal physical and verbal abuse along with the destruction of her property from time to time. Ellie and her children were able to escape and ready to transition into the next step for safety. Ellie and her four children came to Second Step in hopes to create stability and safety for her and her children.
When Ellie started Second Step, she was on medical leave from her job as a case manager at a medical company. Her disability resulted from her relationship. Shortly after starting the Second Step program, Ellie had to testify against her aggressor, which increased her distress and anxiety. Through the services available to her through the Second Step program, Ellie began individual therapy to work on the trauma she had suffered from her ex-partner.
Ellie attended almost all the groups offered at Second Step. While she was gaining education on financial literacy, job readiness, tenant education rights, and therapeutic groups, her children were attending the therapeutic children’s program. All of her children learned how to express their emotions in a nonviolent manner. Ellie’s resilience to get the support she needed allowed her to stay focused on her goal of creating stability and safety from her ex-partner for her children. Ellie and her four children transitioned to Third Step and shortly after was offered an affordable housing opportunity through Families Forward.
“If it were not for the services, groups, and time provided by Human Options, I might have still been in that dark and dangerous relationship. Now my children have a chance towards a better well-being and life.” – Ellie, Survivor
Dear Human Options,
My name is Kim and I had great support from Human Option in 2006 due to domestic violence. I was really in need during that time. I remember I didn’t know how to use phone in the public phone booth, I could not drive, I did not know how to use a taxi, I was not comfortable in English…and most important I did not know my rights. Until I found Human Options.
With help from a friend, I was able to find an opening in Human Options even though was living in a different county. I still vividly remember the first day that I was escorted by the Policeman the the door at the emergency shelter.
I had gone through and completed all the programs. After that, about a year or so, I was able to stand by myself. Luckily I was able to continue my career as a computer engineer and now I could continue my career in San Francisco.
After I met the right person, I realized how the good marriage life should be and I realized how horrible monster I had lived with was. I was unaware about my rights, and how I had been mistreated by the monster. But I was able to get help and leave.
Thank you for all Human Option’s support in the past and in my most difficult times!
– Kim, Survivor
Thinking that dating after abuse was impossible, Miranda found love and hope once more. After five years of breaking free from her abusive partner, Miranda thought she and her children were finally free from all the trauma they endured and could start over. Until one night, her abusive partner showed up to Miranda’s new home, threatening to kill her and her new partner. Miranda’s way for safety was to obtain a Restraining Order.
Miranda called the South Orange County Family Resource Center seeking help from one of our Legal Advocates. In the past, Miranda had attempted to obtain a Domestic Violence Temporary Restraining Order (DVTRO) against her ex-partner, but because he was aware of the DVTRO, he would avoid service and Miranda was never able to serve him. Human Options’ Legal Advocacy team met with Miranda remotely and referred her to O’Melveney & Myers, a law firm that at times provide free legal assistance to Human Option’s clients. With O’Melveney’s attorney’s assistance, he was ultimately served and Miranda was able to get protection for her and her children.
Miranda was able to obtain a five-year DVRO against her ex-partner and full legal and physical custody of her children. Since Miranda was a victim of crime, she was educated on the U-Visa process, a form of immigration relief that was established for victims of crimes including domestic violence. One of the requirements to apply for the U-Visa is that the crime was reported to law enforcement and the victim cooperated with the investigation. Our Legal Advocate assisted Miranda to obtain a copy of her police report so she could attend an immigration clinic. At the clinic, she learned she qualified for the U-Visa, which she is now continuing to work towards, while she is back on the journey to healing with her children, and in a healthy relationship with her new partner.
“I didn’t think I would ever be able to move forward with my life. Human Options’ Legal Advocacy program saved my children and I from danger. I can confidently walk out my home and live my life with my new partner and safe children. ”
– Miranda, Mother & Survivor
It took Mike more than two years after the fact to realize what he thought was love, was in fact abuse. When Mike met Kyle, he thought he had found his soulmate and would live out his dream of being in a loving relationship. Very quickly, Mike became extremely isolated from his friends and began limiting his social and extracurricular activities to be with Kyle. Already not feeling safe and unsure of where to go, Mike tried reaching out to a few friends, but every time he tried, he was not believed or his friends told him that he was a man too and to just “hit him back.”
Mike was referred to our Personal Empowerment Program (PEP) to learn about domestic violence to better learn about the cycle that he kept repeating time and time again. Mike was nervous to join the group because he was not sure how other members in the group would treat him. After the first session, Mike shared about how listening to others in the group talk about their experiences helped him to recognize many of the same warning or red flags that he had missed when he first start dating Kyle. He mentioned that the PEP group made him feel safe, more knowledgeable about his experience and most important felt heard for the first time in a long time. With the education and tools gained from the group, Mike is hopeful to break the cycle for himself in seeking healthy relationships, now has various resources for help, and working to heal and expand his support system again.
“We need more awareness about intimate abuse so people know that violence is a choice and it doesn’t discriminate based on our gender.” – Mike, Survivor
After enduring more than six years of physical, verbal, financial and emotional domestic violence, Charlotte took the first step in her healing journey by entering Human Option’s Emergency Shelter with her two children, Sara and Evan, who were only one and three years old. The last physical aggression by her partner happened in front of her children and that gave her the strength to call law enforcement. Sara, at only 3 years old, told the officer with tears in her eyes that “daddy was being very mean to mommy, broke her phone, yelled too loud and needed to go away”. High levels of stress, anxiety and worry led Charlotte to seek comprehensive care and learn about resources available to her and her children. When Charlotte came into the emergency shelter, she found herself unemployed, working hard to maintain sobriety, unable to control anxiety attacks and unaware of the effects of domestic violence. She often felt like an unfit mother due to the many needs of her children. In the 30 days that Charlotte and her family were at the emergency shelter, she worked with staff to safety plan and mapped out the steps she needed to live free from violence. Charlotte faced her fears and requested a restraining order, began attending empowerment and parenting classes, worked with the children’s program to improve her parenting skills, and applied to financial resources. Although the process was tough and included multiple setbacks, she never gave up and asked to be considered for Human Option’s transitional program, Second Step. She expressed she needed more time to continue her journey and was confident the support she was receiving at Human Options was having a life-changing impact on her family. In only two months of being at Second Step, Charlotte was able to secure a restraining order, job and child care. Those achievements empowered Charlotte to have confidence in her ability to protect, care and provide for her children. Her body language changed drastically along with her kid’s behavior. While at Second Step, Charlotte also maintained her sobriety and fulfilled her biggest goal to secure permanent housing. Before leaving Second Step, Charlotte addressed her peers and shared her story so that they too felt empowered. She left by sharing that the negative thoughts and verbal abuse she suffered for many years were slowly transforming into a phrase that her case manager often shared and now lives by: “my past does not define my future” and feels like there isn’t anything she can’t overcome. Charlotte, Sara and Evan have moved into a safe home where they will build strong family bonds and continue their healing journey.
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Empowering survivors and helping end the cycle of relationship violence in Orange County is what we do every day with the unwavering support of our community.
Events
40 Hour Domestic Violence Advocate Training (DVAT)
Looking to work with domestic violence survivors or just expand your knowledge? Register for Human Options’ 40-hour state-mandated workshop! Offered biannually in the Spring and Fall, this domestic violence series […]
Hoag OC Marathon – Run with Purpose
OC Fair & Event Center 88 Fair Dr, Costa Mesa, CA, United StatesJoin Team Human Options at the Hoag OC Marathon! Run, Fundraise, and Make a Difference for Survivors of Relationship Violence We are thrilled to announce that Human Options will be […]
Serious Fun Gala 2025
Balboa Bay Resort 1221 West Coast Hwy, Newport Beach, CAPlease join the Human Options community for a night of disco-themed Serious Fun. Our annual gala celebrates the work that we do for survivors of relationship violence in Orange County […]
40 Hour Domestic Violence Advocate Training (DVAT)
Looking to work with domestic violence survivors or just expand your knowledge? Register for Human Options’ 40-hour state-mandated workshop! Offered biannually in the Spring and Fall, this domestic violence series […]
