By Arezoo Shahbazi Roa, Prevention & Community Education Director
Navigating the world of relationships can be both exciting and challenging, especially for teens. As they explore the complexities of love and friendship, it’s important to ensure that these experiences are healthy and supportive. Unfortunately, many young people may find themselves in situations where love is confused with control or abuse. Understanding the signs of teen dating violence can help teens engage in safe and healthy relationships and recognize when something just isn’t right. Something doesn’t feel safe.
Teen dating violence refers to a pattern of abusive behavior in a romantic relationship among teens where one person takes power and control over another. This can manifest in various forms, including but not limited to physical, emotional, sexual, and digital abuse. It’s important to recognize that love should be built on respect, trust, and communication, not fear or manipulation.
Here are some red flags or signs that may indicate a teen is experiencing dating violence:
- Isolation from Friends and Family
Abusive partners may attempt to isolate their significant others from friends and family, making them feel alone or dependent. If a teen begins to withdraw from their support system, it may be a sign that something is going on. - Constant Monitoring and Control
An overly controlling partner may frequently check their significant other’s phone, social media, or locations. This behavior can escalate quickly, often masked under the umbrella of “care” and “concern”. - Extreme Jealousy
While some jealousy in relationships can be normal, extreme jealousy that leads to possessiveness is a red flag. If a partner frequently accuses their significant other of being unfaithful without reason or concern about who they are spending time with outside of them, it can be a sign of someone trying to control them. - Emotional Manipulation
Teens may experience emotional abuse through belittling comments, humiliation, or gaslighting, where a partner makes them doubt their feelings or perceptions. This type of manipulation can have lasting effects on self-esteem and mental health. - Threats of Violence or Self-Harm
Any threats, whether directed at the partner or themselves, should be taken seriously. This behavior may indicate a dangerous mindset and a need for immediate intervention. An abusive partner can also use threats of self-harm to manipulate them to remain in the relationship. - Unpredictable Mood Swings
A partner who exhibits sudden and extreme mood changes, like from affection to anger, can create an unstable environment that leaves the other person feeling on edge. - Pressure for Physical Intimacy
Any form of coercion regarding physical intimacy is a big red flag. Consent should always be given and mutual; if one partner feels pressured, it’s a cause for concern. - Frequent Apologies and Promises to Change
An abuser may apologize profusely after incidents of violence or control and promise to change. However, this cycle often repeats, with apologies followed by similar behavior.
So where can we start? Awareness is the first step in prevention. By discussing these signs openly, teens can empower themselves and others to recognize unhealthy dynamics in relationships. Whether it’s a parent, teacher, or advocate, confiding in someone who can offer support is important. Many schools offer counseling services and organizations like ours offer resources, services, and programs for teens focused on healthy relationships and preventing teen dating violence. Education can help break the cycle of abuse and encourage healthier relationship standards.
Love should never hurt. Teens need to understand that they deserve healthy, supportive relationships. By recognizing the signs of dating violence, we can help create a culture where respect and care are the foundations of love. Help us shine a light this month for Teen Dating Violence Awareness & Prevention Month. To learn more about how to get involved and bring awareness visit www.humanoptions.org/LSH2025 .
At Human Options, we are dedicated 24/7 to supporting survivors of relationship violence. Know that you are not alone. You are worthy of healthy safe love. For more information call our hotline at 877-854-3594 or visit humanoptions.org.
